Oceans and Regrets
by withhissong
Summary: To be honest, he's like an ocean, calm and inviting on the outside. Underneath, he's a strong rip current, pulling everyone under and drowning all of them. I knew about all of this, and yet I still trusted him. How could I be so stupid?


**Title:** Oceans and Regrets

**Summary:** To be honest, he's like an ocean, calm and inviting on the outside. Underneath, he's a strong rip current, pulling everyone under and drowning all of them. I knew about all of this, and yet I still trusted him. How could I be so stupid?

**Rating:** T for slash.

* * *

I was supposed to be the smart one on this show. The one who knew better than to associate himself in a relationship that will only last a couple of months, at the very best. I mean, look at Gwen and Trent. How long did they last?

Exactly.

I know many fan sites out there- and by fan sites, I mean Sierra- think that it's because I'm gay. And I guess that's half of it.

Yes, I'm gay. Shocked?

But back to what I was saying. I knew that because it wouldn't last long, add in the fact the amount of grief I would get for being gay on international television, and basically it wouldn't be a happy scene.

And then that Alejandro just decided to join the show, out of nowhere.

(Seriously, why was he allowed on? Oh, yeah. Chris enjoys our pain and suffering because it gives him his ratings. Of course.)

I will admit, like other people, at first I found him very attractive. But at first, I found Justin very attractive, like other people, and I can't stand the guy. Apparently, I forgot about all of this with Alejandro.

So, in case you were completely lost: Yes, I'm gay, and yes, I had a crush on Alejandro.

To be honest, he's like an ocean, calm and inviting on the outside. His ability to do freaking everything made me interested in him, and the fact that he was handsome was a bonus.

But when he was interested in whatever Owen or Tyler were telling him, I could tell he was resisting the urge to lash out at them.

When he seemed to be completely in love with Bridgette and LeShawna, I knew he was just using them as pawns in his little game.

And when he was asking me about how I felt about our chances of our entire team actually making it to the final 5, I had a feeling it was to learn more about what I thought about the game.

You see, underneath that ocean, he's a strong rip current, pulling everyone under, and drowning all of them.

I knew that someone like him and someone like me could never be a couple, ever. I mean, he's not even gay. But yet, I still felt like I could trust him.

How could I be so stupid?

One night during that competition, I realized how incompatible we were. Owen had started to figure out that just possibly; I was "into" Alejandro. That couldn't happen, not because I don't trust Owen, but Alejandro would find out anything from him. And if Tyler somehow found out, the results would be much worse, as he had admitted that he "wasn't too good with secrets".

So as an attempt to throw them off trail, per sè, I told them that I thought Alejandro was "slippery as an eel dipped in grease swimming in motor oil". Which was true, but if they thought I didn't trust him, there's no way I would have a crush on him.

Yeah, because it worked so well. I got eliminated because of that.

Alejandro heard every word I had said about him, and I attempted to explain why I had said that. He was less-than-thrilled to hear that I was gay- yes, even after all of that, I trusted him just a little. I swear, my brain was dead that day. -and eliminated me nonetheless.

I knew that once Alejandro was off the show, he would force me out of the closet. Thankfully, he got burned by lava, publically rejected by Heather, and from what I heard, turned into a robot by Chris. (So maybe that host was good for something... Nah.)

To sum up for those of you who can't follow: I'm gay, I was in love with Alejandro, who knew both these things, and now I know that you  
can't trust an ocean.

* * *

**Post-Blah: **Eeee, more AleNoah! I can't seem to write this pairing without angst... And I dare you to imagine AleNoah fluff. Quite difficult, right?

I absolutely adore this pairing nonetheless. It's so interesting and different. So, review. What do you think of AleNoah? Let me know. ^_^


End file.
